Couple of years ago I’ve told myself I’m not allowed to feel hope when it comes to having kids. Not being able to have kids was a trauma for me.
I guess that only someone who tried for 9 years to have a child could understand what hope is when it comes to having kids. For me every month that passed by was full of hope and ended with a negative result. I had to stop that because it was to painfull and I had to accept that I can’t have kids naturally. It took almost 9 years to understand and accept that.
But there’s something I have learned this year. I’ve learned that time will not wait for me. I’ve learned why being lazy is in top ten sins of life.
Because of all the choices I’ve made this year I find myself in the last 2 weeks of the year waiting to find out if I will be a mother or not. The last days of this year would bring me joy or pain… to many this could be a very painful moment.
For me is like finishing this year in glory, regardless the result of the IVF.
I’ve made so many changes, and every step I’ve made was ahead not backwards.
I want to thank to all of those that had found time to talk and understand what is going on with me. Their time, their words, their deeds and their experiences helped me become a better version of myself.
So thank you!
As about what there is to come… I wish the next year will bring me health and a solution (even if temporary) to stop the pain inflicted by my illness. There’s no place for doubt or for wasting time. There will be joy and always a reminder that if you put your mind to something anything is truly possible.